Identity Crisis

I'm not quite sure who I am.

I've been wondering for some time now. If you'd asked me three years ago, I could have told you. - A businessman, working in small businesses, specialisng in marketing, media and production services. A workaholic, stresshead, trusting of very few people, relying on myself to get me where I wanted to go and enjoying worldly means to get by. I knew what it meant to be a friend, a lover - I cared about my family. I was all about having good times, and thought that the world owed me - that I had a right to certain things in life and I was out to get them.

Then, two and a half years ago I received Faith in God. Delivered, to me, in no uncertain terms, by Him. Wow! Although a story in it own right, it was the event which marks the beginning of the end to my old life and the start of something new.

Twelve months ago my life was still recognisable as remnant of the old. I had begun to seek knowledge of what having belief in God was all about and what being a Christian means, I had begun to attend church more regularly but really, I hadn't changed who I was and what I did - how I lived my life, at all.

Now, things are different: I'm married; I work for a respected, Christian organisation rather than a struggling small business; I've been Baptised; I read the Bible (almost) daily; I pray daily; my wife works for a charity, rather than a business PR agency. We have begun to share our Faith. We both have a drive to serve our local communities. Its a new life and I don't recognise it.

So I don't know who I am. I've reached a limbo. I'm not sure who or what I am anymore or where I am going. But that's not up to me now. When I reached the decision to be Baptised I knew that it was a decision God wanted me to make. An open confirmation of my belief and trust in Him, His Way and His great plan. So I gave control of my life (in public) over to Him then. And since that day, he's shown me a new way of living. A better way.

So whilst I don't know who I am anymore or what I am to become. I'm happy Happy in the knowledge that God knows who I am and what He has planned for me. So I don't need to know. I just need to pray, listen, have faith in what I hear, act on what I hear and I'll find out.

This is my tale.