A couple of weeks ago I had the great privilege of being a Best Man. My best mate Sam at long last married his fiancee Katie and they had a fantastic wedding at the magnificent Horsted Place in East Sussex.
The day had all the best bits that it ought to - Katie was the stunning bride in a beautiful dress, the weather could not have been better, the food was outstanding and there were tears at the altar. I was lucky to be able to share the Best Man role with another of Sam's best mates (and mine) - Rob. Having been present at other weddings where the Best Man is wound up all the way until his speech is over, I was glad to share this great honour with Rob. We don't often see each other these days, but planning the speech and elements of the Stag Do brought us together and refreshed the bonds of friendship between us. It also meant that we were quite relaxed on the day and could enjoy such a special occaison properly.
Six old friends went to Tenerife together, "The Stag", "The Jackal", "The Bishop", "Peacey", "Wiseman" and "J.P." "Peacey, aka Keith, I've not seen for ten years. But all those ten years have done is age us a little. Other than that, it was like I hadn't seen him for a month. Still the quiet, laid-back, funny guy I've known.
We had great sun, good accommodation, fantastic food, a little too much beer, a lot of laughter and the comedy moments of the stag being forced to take an inflatable bride out on his last night of freedom. Not a cross word or moment of stress, the only soreness or pain we experienced was the sunburn. It was somewhat of a shame to come back (alhough I'm not missing being harassed into going into a particular bar or restaurant everywhere I go!)
Two weeks later, we'd grouped again for the wedding and were joined by those who were unable to make the Stag Do. Family and friends of Sam and Katie, congregating to watch them get married and celebrate their special day. And what a special day it was. I've never been to a civil marriage partnership before, but it was beautiful and tear-jerking. Katie's sister and Sam's cousin each gave a beautiful reading.
The most significant thing for me is that they chose to get married. In our current age where people choose to enter into long-term relationships but not marry, this decision stands out. Sam & Katie have been together for a number of years, but have still chosen to take this step of lifelong commitment. In a disposable, irresponsible society, they've publicly affirmed their love and commitment, taking responsibility for their relationship and one another. A loving couple, now husband and wife united, til death do them part. My friends, much respect and love goes out to you both.
S & K - it was an honour to be a part of your special day and to share in the celebrations of your marriage! Congratulations and thank you.
Tuesday, 20 May 2008
Monday, 19 May 2008
A leap of faith
A couple of weeks ago I went away on a "Mens' Weekend" with my church. It wasn't just for men within the church, but more of a get away for men from The Point and their male freinds.
It was a truly great time. An opportunity to build new relationships and create stronger bonds in current ones. I had gone with an open mind, knowing what the structure of the weekend was going to be, but I didn't really have any idea what might happen or how it might affect me.
We arrived and pitched our tents late on the Friday afternoon. One of the four teams we were grouped into prepared dinner and a fire was lit. Our first evening together was spent around the campfire listening to the personal testimony given by one of our congregation about his recent faith journey, followed by a campfire sing-a-long of some quality tunes.
Breakfast the next morning was prepared by another team and we were given a scriptural thought for the day to carry with us. My team's first activity was climbing. We were taught that the day would be about personal challenges, where we set the goals and the boundaries. Now I know I'm not Spiderman, but I soon discovered that my friends Paul, Jeremy and Chris, are. Straight to the top on all three sides of the tower - well done lads. For me, I figured that if I climbed higher than the dorma window of my house I'd be doing well. Not only did I manage this but I also fell off twice, which included a good swing round the side of the tower itself, culminating in a bruised and banged elbow. Following my injury and the fright that came with it, that was as far as I made it, but I was determined not to let my fear of falling ruin the rest of my day. The next activity was archery - great fun and a lot more sucessful for me personally. The only "competitive" activity of the day in which I believe our team came second and amazingly I still managed to leave the activity with a bruised arm! At lunch a few of us took a detour from the planned activity and went off the beaten track to find somewhere local where the Man U v Chelsea match was being played. With a number of supporters of both teams present on site there was a good deal of friendly rivalry - with both looking forward to a win! Sadly the detour became an adventure of its own - six pubs and 95% of the first half later, Andy and I finally managed to find a bar showing the match. Evidently football's not a popular sport in deepest West Sussex. It was time well spent getting to know Andy better, but sadly Chelsea on home turf won the day - we had little desire to return to the grinning faces of the Chelsea fans.
We returned in time for the last activity of the day and for my team the High Ropes. I have a fear of... I'm not sure what the fear is exactly, but I don't like climbing above a certain height. Now the High Ropes are just that. The first, about 9 feet above the ground was a round wooden beam - the objective; to walk across from one end to the other, then return to the middle, stand on one leg and be lowered down. This is an entirely safe activity, as with the Climbing, each participant is roped and secured with another two teammates feeding more or less rope as necessary, both ready to lower the climber if necessary. If you fall, the worst thing that can happen is that you swing in the air and perhaps bang into something. Jeremy, "The Human Fly", went first and demonstrated just how easy it was. When my time came, I found it a struggle, but with the encouragement of my friends I made it across, back to the middle, stood on one leg and came down. The next step was twice the height. Again, a beam between two trees, but after the ladder were a series of rungs hammered into the tree to climb up. At the top of the ladder I froze. Even the encouragement of my friends wasn't enough. Then the instructor started, "Our father..." As I continued The Lord's Prayer (out loud), I took a step per line and made it up the rungs and across the beam to the other side - all the time, my body tingling with nerves, but my focus aimed firmly at my destination. Then it was time to come down. This time, we had to lower ourselves onto the beam, straddle it and hang under the beam before being lowered. I made it back out to the middle of the beam and froze again. This time I just didn't know how to lower myself to the straddling position, without either falling, or causing myself intense pain and damage! Yet my team wouldn't let me come down in any other way, so I had to do it. So I dropped, arms and chest down... It happened so quickly I don't quite know how it happened, but the next thing I knew, I was hanging like a sloth, underneath the beam. I'd dropped and turned in one swift, slik motion - to a round of applause! I was chuffed and exhilarated. Then I was encouraged to let go with my arms and hang by just my legs. I managed that too - and it was much easier than I thought. In fact, I hung for what seemed like ages while Simon came back and took a picture. Once more safely on the ground, the hardest challenge of my day was yet to come.
The "Leap of Faith". A different task, a platform 30 feet up, 20+ feet worth of rungs in the tree above the ladder to reach it and then a jump. A jump to a trapeze suspended in mid-air. I waited until last, determined to do it. After my fall on the Climbling Tower, we'd walked back and watched some of our friends attempt this and I'd made it my complete personal challenge of the day to climb to the top and make the day. Also I'd discovered that my friend Rich (who also has a great fear of heights) had done it and this made me even more determined. Having manned the ropes for everyone else, they finally roped me up and I set to the ladder. I was the last man of the day and by this time, some of the other groups had finished and had gathered with us, so there was an even bigger crowd, yet the pressure I felt was from myself; I only felt even more encouraged by the presence and support of the others. Still, I was afraid. No-one had fallen, even slipped and none of my team had missed their jump. So I climbed and as I climbed I remembered that with God, we are always safe and He had helped me through the last one, so I knew he'd help me make it through this. As I climbed each step, the words of Matt Redman's song, "You never let go of me," ran through my head and I vocalised each one silently. Very, quickly, with no pausing, I was at the top and standing on the platform. My heart was pounding, but my legs were firm and I was ready - I needed to jump now! I asked for the trapeze to be moved toward me (I'm only a short guy!) and they counted me down. 10, 9, 8.. and I jumped! I caught the trapeze and hung there, while my friends applauded and cheered. I was elated and excited. I'd achieved my goal and was lowered to the ground. Everyone who did the High Ropes activity made the Leap of Faith.
The remainder of the day consisted of a huge-a-side game of footy, a great barbecue and a talk about Jesus from Will by the campfire. We shared stories of our adventures, the challenges, the achievements and the pains we'd gone through to get there. It was a great weekend and I experienced a lot. The events challenged me in unexpected ways. For example, when I gave my testimony to the group on the Friday night (yes, it was me, a surprise and last minute gift from my pastor) I had to think about my audience. I don't usually struggle with public speaking, but I was aware that I had a mixed group, of Christians and non-Christians. I wanted to convey the message that God had changed my life (& how) simply and without scaring anyone away (Spirituality and the whole "God-thing" used to make me run a mile). I hope I succeeded. Additionally, I was encouraged to recognise fear in my life and to confront and overcome it - this was a really important step for me. Prior to going, I didn't even completely know it was there but now I know I do, I've got to do something about it and look for other fears to overcome as well. I made new friendships and strengthened existing ones. I experienced encouragement and support in many different ways from people I know and people I don't. We shared with one another and we were open with one another, exposing our vulnerabilities and allowing and trusting others to help; it was a true experience of fellowship. But even more than this, I came to know God just a little bit more and trust Him to help me overcome my fears. The scriptural thought for the day on the Sunday after breakfast summed this up well for me: Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:
PS My thanks again to Trevor and those who organised sucha a great event.
It was a truly great time. An opportunity to build new relationships and create stronger bonds in current ones. I had gone with an open mind, knowing what the structure of the weekend was going to be, but I didn't really have any idea what might happen or how it might affect me.
We arrived and pitched our tents late on the Friday afternoon. One of the four teams we were grouped into prepared dinner and a fire was lit. Our first evening together was spent around the campfire listening to the personal testimony given by one of our congregation about his recent faith journey, followed by a campfire sing-a-long of some quality tunes.
Breakfast the next morning was prepared by another team and we were given a scriptural thought for the day to carry with us. My team's first activity was climbing. We were taught that the day would be about personal challenges, where we set the goals and the boundaries. Now I know I'm not Spiderman, but I soon discovered that my friends Paul, Jeremy and Chris, are. Straight to the top on all three sides of the tower - well done lads. For me, I figured that if I climbed higher than the dorma window of my house I'd be doing well. Not only did I manage this but I also fell off twice, which included a good swing round the side of the tower itself, culminating in a bruised and banged elbow. Following my injury and the fright that came with it, that was as far as I made it, but I was determined not to let my fear of falling ruin the rest of my day. The next activity was archery - great fun and a lot more sucessful for me personally. The only "competitive" activity of the day in which I believe our team came second and amazingly I still managed to leave the activity with a bruised arm! At lunch a few of us took a detour from the planned activity and went off the beaten track to find somewhere local where the Man U v Chelsea match was being played. With a number of supporters of both teams present on site there was a good deal of friendly rivalry - with both looking forward to a win! Sadly the detour became an adventure of its own - six pubs and 95% of the first half later, Andy and I finally managed to find a bar showing the match. Evidently football's not a popular sport in deepest West Sussex. It was time well spent getting to know Andy better, but sadly Chelsea on home turf won the day - we had little desire to return to the grinning faces of the Chelsea fans.
We returned in time for the last activity of the day and for my team the High Ropes. I have a fear of... I'm not sure what the fear is exactly, but I don't like climbing above a certain height. Now the High Ropes are just that. The first, about 9 feet above the ground was a round wooden beam - the objective; to walk across from one end to the other, then return to the middle, stand on one leg and be lowered down. This is an entirely safe activity, as with the Climbing, each participant is roped and secured with another two teammates feeding more or less rope as necessary, both ready to lower the climber if necessary. If you fall, the worst thing that can happen is that you swing in the air and perhaps bang into something. Jeremy, "The Human Fly", went first and demonstrated just how easy it was. When my time came, I found it a struggle, but with the encouragement of my friends I made it across, back to the middle, stood on one leg and came down. The next step was twice the height. Again, a beam between two trees, but after the ladder were a series of rungs hammered into the tree to climb up. At the top of the ladder I froze. Even the encouragement of my friends wasn't enough. Then the instructor started, "Our father..." As I continued The Lord's Prayer (out loud), I took a step per line and made it up the rungs and across the beam to the other side - all the time, my body tingling with nerves, but my focus aimed firmly at my destination. Then it was time to come down. This time, we had to lower ourselves onto the beam, straddle it and hang under the beam before being lowered. I made it back out to the middle of the beam and froze again. This time I just didn't know how to lower myself to the straddling position, without either falling, or causing myself intense pain and damage! Yet my team wouldn't let me come down in any other way, so I had to do it. So I dropped, arms and chest down... It happened so quickly I don't quite know how it happened, but the next thing I knew, I was hanging like a sloth, underneath the beam. I'd dropped and turned in one swift, slik motion - to a round of applause! I was chuffed and exhilarated. Then I was encouraged to let go with my arms and hang by just my legs. I managed that too - and it was much easier than I thought. In fact, I hung for what seemed like ages while Simon came back and took a picture. Once more safely on the ground, the hardest challenge of my day was yet to come.
The "Leap of Faith". A different task, a platform 30 feet up, 20+ feet worth of rungs in the tree above the ladder to reach it and then a jump. A jump to a trapeze suspended in mid-air. I waited until last, determined to do it. After my fall on the Climbling Tower, we'd walked back and watched some of our friends attempt this and I'd made it my complete personal challenge of the day to climb to the top and make the day. Also I'd discovered that my friend Rich (who also has a great fear of heights) had done it and this made me even more determined. Having manned the ropes for everyone else, they finally roped me up and I set to the ladder. I was the last man of the day and by this time, some of the other groups had finished and had gathered with us, so there was an even bigger crowd, yet the pressure I felt was from myself; I only felt even more encouraged by the presence and support of the others. Still, I was afraid. No-one had fallen, even slipped and none of my team had missed their jump. So I climbed and as I climbed I remembered that with God, we are always safe and He had helped me through the last one, so I knew he'd help me make it through this. As I climbed each step, the words of Matt Redman's song, "You never let go of me," ran through my head and I vocalised each one silently. Very, quickly, with no pausing, I was at the top and standing on the platform. My heart was pounding, but my legs were firm and I was ready - I needed to jump now! I asked for the trapeze to be moved toward me (I'm only a short guy!) and they counted me down. 10, 9, 8.. and I jumped! I caught the trapeze and hung there, while my friends applauded and cheered. I was elated and excited. I'd achieved my goal and was lowered to the ground. Everyone who did the High Ropes activity made the Leap of Faith.
The remainder of the day consisted of a huge-a-side game of footy, a great barbecue and a talk about Jesus from Will by the campfire. We shared stories of our adventures, the challenges, the achievements and the pains we'd gone through to get there. It was a great weekend and I experienced a lot. The events challenged me in unexpected ways. For example, when I gave my testimony to the group on the Friday night (yes, it was me, a surprise and last minute gift from my pastor) I had to think about my audience. I don't usually struggle with public speaking, but I was aware that I had a mixed group, of Christians and non-Christians. I wanted to convey the message that God had changed my life (& how) simply and without scaring anyone away (Spirituality and the whole "God-thing" used to make me run a mile). I hope I succeeded. Additionally, I was encouraged to recognise fear in my life and to confront and overcome it - this was a really important step for me. Prior to going, I didn't even completely know it was there but now I know I do, I've got to do something about it and look for other fears to overcome as well. I made new friendships and strengthened existing ones. I experienced encouragement and support in many different ways from people I know and people I don't. We shared with one another and we were open with one another, exposing our vulnerabilities and allowing and trusting others to help; it was a true experience of fellowship. But even more than this, I came to know God just a little bit more and trust Him to help me overcome my fears. The scriptural thought for the day on the Sunday after breakfast summed this up well for me: Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down, his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
PS My thanks again to Trevor and those who organised sucha a great event.
Too busy to write
I'm susceptible to being busy. Since returning from Spring Harvest I've only just stopped to think. I guess that's a good thing really, I mean, if I didn't do anything between writing, then I'd have nothing to write about, except writing.
Sunday, 13 April 2008
Sprung Harvest
21 Days. Every one a working day. In Spring Harvest's language; 3 set up days, and 3 'weeks', each comprising 6 days. Time is complicated out there. One loses the usual order and progression of time, proving that it really is subjective.
I can be told things, I can write them down on paper, listen to a recording, watch them on video, but until I see them for real, in three dimensions and immerse myself in them only then do I understand them for what they really are. Since September I have been inviting people to speak at Sprng Harvest's Main Event, playing my part in the planning. Yet until I got there I had no real idea of what it is.
Butlins at Skegness and Minehead become villages of Christians. They eat, drink, sleep, walk, play learn and worship together for five whole days (a SH 'week' starts in the evening of Day 1 and ends at lunchtime on Day 6). They meet with each other, they interact, they experience and they take away something with them that they didn't have before. A week at SH isn't just a holiday, its a series of holy days - time set apart from the World, with the purpose of becoming more as God wants us to be.
It is a collection of stories and of journeys. The theme of the event and the programme elements are merely an outline of a great picture, given colour by those who attend - both team and guest alike.
Thousands of guests attend each SH week, served by hundreds of team members, most of them volunteers. I'd like to thank all those who served and contributed; for giving up your time and using your gifts and yourselves in the service of others. It was a privilege to serve God in this way and to work with such a professional team.
God transforms lives. When He's not taking direct action ,He works through His people and events. When we come together as His ekklesia - as Christ's bride, He continues to make His presence known. I was touched by God these past few weeks and I saw others changed also.
I learned:
1) That I had the stamina to make it through the three weeks.
2) That I could perform a new role whilst on site.
3) That in God's world - individuals count. It didn't matter how many people were being catered for; if there were a few or even just one who had different needs, they were looked after as they needed to be, whatever it took.
4) To look deep for skills and abilities.
5) To manage people in their gifting - it is one thing to stretch people outside of their comfort zone; it is another to use them outside of their ablity.
6) That friendships are made and deepened.
7) That we don't always get it right, we won't always get it right. But we always have the choice and opportunity to try.
8) That God was evident there.
9) That the journey continues.
Roll on SH 2009 - Apprentice.
www.springharvest.org
I can be told things, I can write them down on paper, listen to a recording, watch them on video, but until I see them for real, in three dimensions and immerse myself in them only then do I understand them for what they really are. Since September I have been inviting people to speak at Sprng Harvest's Main Event, playing my part in the planning. Yet until I got there I had no real idea of what it is.
Butlins at Skegness and Minehead become villages of Christians. They eat, drink, sleep, walk, play learn and worship together for five whole days (a SH 'week' starts in the evening of Day 1 and ends at lunchtime on Day 6). They meet with each other, they interact, they experience and they take away something with them that they didn't have before. A week at SH isn't just a holiday, its a series of holy days - time set apart from the World, with the purpose of becoming more as God wants us to be.
It is a collection of stories and of journeys. The theme of the event and the programme elements are merely an outline of a great picture, given colour by those who attend - both team and guest alike.
Thousands of guests attend each SH week, served by hundreds of team members, most of them volunteers. I'd like to thank all those who served and contributed; for giving up your time and using your gifts and yourselves in the service of others. It was a privilege to serve God in this way and to work with such a professional team.
God transforms lives. When He's not taking direct action ,He works through His people and events. When we come together as His ekklesia - as Christ's bride, He continues to make His presence known. I was touched by God these past few weeks and I saw others changed also.
I learned:
1) That I had the stamina to make it through the three weeks.
2) That I could perform a new role whilst on site.
3) That in God's world - individuals count. It didn't matter how many people were being catered for; if there were a few or even just one who had different needs, they were looked after as they needed to be, whatever it took.
4) To look deep for skills and abilities.
5) To manage people in their gifting - it is one thing to stretch people outside of their comfort zone; it is another to use them outside of their ablity.
6) That friendships are made and deepened.
7) That we don't always get it right, we won't always get it right. But we always have the choice and opportunity to try.
8) That God was evident there.
9) That the journey continues.
Roll on SH 2009 - Apprentice.
www.springharvest.org
Monday, 10 March 2008
Of Course!
Next week marks the end of another term.
For the first time since leaving university I've been measuring my life in terms. From September til December last year it was an Alpha Course for Rach and a Lifeshapes Course for me, since Jan its been Lifeshapes for Rach and The Marriage Course for both of us.
All these things have been great for us. Useful in guiding us along the new path we walk. We've learned about what Jesus did; about how we should follow Him and be like Him; about how we can develop our marital relationship, we've learned a lot. I'm grateful to our church for providing these learning opportunities and for those who've led and facilitated them - thanks for your servanthood.
What I take away from all this is a new look at myself and the way I want to live. I've learned to self-examine and bite my tongue, to focus my passion and be active in it, rather than just be passionate. The challenge and the discipline will be this: To use what I've been taught and put it into practice in my everyday life.
I'll miss the courses - I've enjoyed being a student and doing homework again, but everything has been about application and so any benefit I'm going to gain will come from making the paperwork real.
The Alpha Course
In short - a step by step introduction to Christianity. So good I did it twice! Useful in understanding Christians, even it you're not one.
Lifeshapes
Uses shapes as 'mnemonics' to detail and explain tenets of Jesus' teaching and ministry and how we can be disciples of His today.
The Marriage Course
We have to be taught to drive, cook, speak a foreign language, why not a relationship? The Marriage Course has really opened my eyes again as to how to communicate with Rach and understand and respond to her needs, whilst doing the same for me. We've been together for 10 years and it showed us two fundamental things - 1) We've done well so far on our own, naturally understanding and working at our reationship, and - 2) That if we'd had this knowlede before - we'd have probably done a lot better.
The Point Church - where if you live locally, you can sign up and try them out for yourself
For the first time since leaving university I've been measuring my life in terms. From September til December last year it was an Alpha Course for Rach and a Lifeshapes Course for me, since Jan its been Lifeshapes for Rach and The Marriage Course for both of us.
All these things have been great for us. Useful in guiding us along the new path we walk. We've learned about what Jesus did; about how we should follow Him and be like Him; about how we can develop our marital relationship, we've learned a lot. I'm grateful to our church for providing these learning opportunities and for those who've led and facilitated them - thanks for your servanthood.
What I take away from all this is a new look at myself and the way I want to live. I've learned to self-examine and bite my tongue, to focus my passion and be active in it, rather than just be passionate. The challenge and the discipline will be this: To use what I've been taught and put it into practice in my everyday life.
I'll miss the courses - I've enjoyed being a student and doing homework again, but everything has been about application and so any benefit I'm going to gain will come from making the paperwork real.
The Alpha Course
In short - a step by step introduction to Christianity. So good I did it twice! Useful in understanding Christians, even it you're not one.
Lifeshapes
Uses shapes as 'mnemonics' to detail and explain tenets of Jesus' teaching and ministry and how we can be disciples of His today.
The Marriage Course
We have to be taught to drive, cook, speak a foreign language, why not a relationship? The Marriage Course has really opened my eyes again as to how to communicate with Rach and understand and respond to her needs, whilst doing the same for me. We've been together for 10 years and it showed us two fundamental things - 1) We've done well so far on our own, naturally understanding and working at our reationship, and - 2) That if we'd had this knowlede before - we'd have probably done a lot better.
The Point Church - where if you live locally, you can sign up and try them out for yourself
Tuesday, 4 March 2008
What God wants me to do?
Over the past few months its become increasingly clear that God wants me (& Rach )to do something in His service, for His purpose.
However, I feel like I'm hidden in a swirling fog of confusion & I can't see my way through it. So I don't know what to do next that's in God's plan for me (us).
I revealed this to my Accountability Group on Saturday morning. They suggested that I pray directly to God about it and ask Him to show me what He wanted me to do / repent / etc?
On Saturday I prayed for a word. God gave me 'confirmation'
On Sunday I prayed for a sign and He gave me a last minute preach on Evangelism and a ready harvest.
On Monday I prayed for a piece of Scripture to guide me. He has 'given' me 2 Timothy.
I'm, watching this space (and continue to pray!)
However, I feel like I'm hidden in a swirling fog of confusion & I can't see my way through it. So I don't know what to do next that's in God's plan for me (us).
I revealed this to my Accountability Group on Saturday morning. They suggested that I pray directly to God about it and ask Him to show me what He wanted me to do / repent / etc?
On Saturday I prayed for a word. God gave me 'confirmation'
On Sunday I prayed for a sign and He gave me a last minute preach on Evangelism and a ready harvest.
On Monday I prayed for a piece of Scripture to guide me. He has 'given' me 2 Timothy.
I'm, watching this space (and continue to pray!)
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